Posted in Writing

Losing a Friend

“We’re too young to have our friends die” is what I said to my husband last night in bed as we both wept silently into our tear soaked pillows.

When a friend who is in his mid 50s, living his life to the fullest suddenly leaves earth, it causes you to stop – breathe – wonder – and cry of course. The tears are not for Leo, because he is in a beautiful place. I’ve been there, I’m not scared of death. The grief is for his wife Chris. The grief is for us because our friend won’t be here in our house anymore, playing ham radio with us,  stopping by my office for a visit when he is in town, or texting my husband funny messages that usually involved boob jokes – many of which I even found funny.

Our grieving is for our loss of our friend “Lightning Leo.” As a UPS man for 25 years, he was well known in the northeast corner of Wyoming. As a ham radio operator, callsign WY7LL, he was known around the country and the world.  Ham radio is what brought us together and cemented a friendship.

When I married my husband and moved to Wyoming from Connecticut not knowing a soul…it was Leo and Chris who became the first to welcome me and become true friends. A friendship that we all expected to last into our golden years.

As a student of life, I personally have come to a place where I truly believe when the soul has done what it came here to do, it moves on. As human beings though, we have a hard time digesting that and living it – especially in the middle of grief. There are more questions than answers. The fresh grief brings up the all the loss experienced previously. It’s hard to find joy in the middle of it all.  Today was a post on Facebook from my favorite author and spiritual leader Neale Donald Walsch that said:

When you know that everything happens for the best, then everything that happens is okay with you. The irony of this is that when everything that happens is okay with you, you set up an energy field of such equanimity and harmony with the universe that the universal law of attraction draws more equanimity and harmony into your life.”

My goal is to live with the knowledge that everything that happens is for the best and it’s okay. I may not be happy about it right now or ever understand it, but that’s okay. I do know deep in my hurting heart, that Leo will always be here. All of our loved ones are always here because there is no where else. When we remember those who are no longer in the physical plane with us, we bring them back in to our heart. By doing that, they are here right now.

When we lose a family member or a friend, it becomes a needed reminder to all of us to hold on tighter to those who are here. To not take any moments for granted. And never ever be afraid to tell anyone that you love them.  It is a gift that can never be forgotten

Caught in a moment, this picture taken just a few hours before we found out about the loss of our friend Leo.
Caught in a moment, this picture taken just a few hours before we found out about the loss of our friend Leo.