I’m at the point in my book where I’m writing about the times I nearly died from my disease. My background in the book is particularly on Inflammatory Bowel Disease; Nerve Pain; Ankylosing Spondylitis; and the depression that comes along with living with those diseases. I know, totally sounds like a bummer of a book, doesn’t it? Well, that’s just a small part of it, but necessary. The good stuff comes after that ugly stuff! The whole point is that where I am today is because of all the shitty stuff I’ve lived through – literally! As you come to the topic of shitty stuff, inevitably it all comes back to gas. In my family, that means fart jokes.
Seriously….you can’t tell me that people in your circle of friends or family don’t make fart jokes. I mean, farts are funny after all. How in the hell does our body manage to digest our food and then squeak out gas in such a myriad of tunes? They have to be funny to enough people because you can download fart apps for your smart phone (admit it, you’ve either done it, thought about doing it, or know someone who has). You can also buy props like The Pooter.
The Pooter is a handy little device you hold in the palm of your hand and at just the right moment you give it a squeeze and voila!! Fart = laughter. These items of course are all the modern day version of the whoopie cushion. We had a lot of fun with the pooter at a convention once…we even had someone take the blame for the “fart.”
When you live with Ulcerative Colitis, Crohn’s Disease or any of the other digestive disorders and diseases, farts no longer are funny. They don’t exist anymore for fun, they are just part of the disorder. As I sit here writing about the time I came very close to death because of my Crohn’s Disease I am having a difficult time focusing. So much of that time period was buried in my subconscious, layered in between copious amounts of narcotic pain medications. I’m reliving the really shitty parts of this disease, when my body seemingly turned against me. It’s not easy to think about, and definitely not easy to write about. It was two years of my life that I have varied memories, many of them humorous in spite of the awful stuff happening. So in the midst of the ugliness that I’m writing about today, I am taking a little break to share some humor.
Remembering and sharing are ways to let others know they aren’t alone. I know I’m not the only person that has ever dealt with this, and unfortunately I won’t be the last. What I do hope is that people will learn that life is tenuous, short and full of surprises. Sometimes those surprises come in the form of a little toot from the nether-region. So next time, go ahead and laugh about it, you have my permission. Seriously, farts are funny.